The reason I have been writing a lot lately about truly Being in the Present is because it is so very important in understanding tantric sexuality which will be coming.
Being in the present is one of those abilities and qualities people often mention after having met charismatic people like Bill Clinton or Oprah just to mention a few. They are fully there – centred and with the intense focus that being present creates. Many people aren’t used to being the unequivocal focus of another person’s energy or are not even aware and so when it happens, the recipient of that attention feels special.
When listening fully to the person as an equal no matter who they are; young, old or in between do not go into multi-thinking. Keep nice eye-contact without staring (don’t forget to break sometimes…you know, before it gets weird). Also, being there has a tendency to make you more open and inquisitive in a natural way. Instinctively, when you are Present things catch your eye and people are likely to become more interesting. So here are ideas that have worked for many people including celebrities … pick and choose the ones that you think will work best for you:
- Focus on where it’s at. Right in front of you, or around you. And even on you. Use your senses and look right now at what is in front of you. Can you hear the sounds about you? Touch the fabric of your clothes and focus on how they feel.
- Be aware. Thinking about the past and future comes to you naturally. That’s OK. Just become more aware of those thoughts. Awareness will bring change and change will bring you to the present.
- Do not be harsh. If you think about the past or future, do not be stern with yourself! Don’t try to push those thoughts out of your head. Instead, be aware of them, and gradually allow them to go away. T hen bring yourself back to the present.
- Eating is a time to eat. The best way to think about being present is this: do just one thing at a time. When you are eating, don’t make a mental list of things to do or think about something negative. Just pay attention and enjoy what you’re eating, do it slowly. This goes for other seemingly mundane tasks: mowing the lawn, taking a shower, driving, working, playing. In other words, multi tasking is not necessarily a good thing.
- Zazen. The core of Zen practice is seated meditation that in turn is simply sitting. You don’t have to contemplate about anything, nor any need of chanting. You strive to be aware of the stream of thoughts, allowing them to arise and pass away without interference. In other words, you just sit, and focus on sitting. This has been a very useful practice for me and I add a smile creating thoughts that are more positive.
- Do Exercises. Exercise is a wonderful practice. If running is your choice, then run and only run. The secret is to focus on running, on breathing, on nothing but the present which is simply running.
- Everyday routines. Again, be aware of your stream of thoughts. When you do laundry, this is practice, your meditation. When you walk your dog, focus on walking your dog. Make anything you do into practice.
- Use reminders. Sound silly but it works. Place a reminder where it will be visible, on your fridge, on your computer desktop, in your car. Any place you will notice is a good thing. Whatever it takes to keep your focus on practicing being present.
- No failure. Everybody messes up, but that’s OK, because it is impossible to mess up. Over time, the only thing of importance is that you practice, and in the end, if you keep doing it, you will learn to focus on the present more often than you do now. Say to yourself “I cannot fail”, even if you stop doing it for awhile. You have the right to celebrate every little success. Doing it at all is success.
10. Continue practicing. When you get frustrated, just take a deep breath. There is no magical formula except “keep practicing”. Isn’t that what we teach our children?
This is just a few methods and techniques that I utilize to find and prolong those moments when I am truly in the present. Of course tip number ten is the one to keep returning to. Being in the moment takes focus and practice. The more you do it, the longer and more intense your abilities will become. How many benefits will you discover when truly being in the here and now? How will living in the present affect your spiritual consciousness? And the ultimate question, are you ready to actively live in the present?